Feeling Motivated

NBC and Pass In Review

I would have to say that during my first week of real basic the to main things I remember the most are going to the gas chamber as part of NBC training and learning about our masks and learning drill for the Pass In Review at the HQ building with the General there watching. There is also some minor stuff where since we were last to arrive at BCT the girls that were there ahead of us were put in charge of taking us to our bunks and showing us how to do all the things they learned already from the Drills. They basically showed us our bunks and then the sheet in the wall locker that had the drawer layout as for what went where in our wall lockers etc. Then they left to us to do it alone and never showed us how to roll our socks or towels or anything. After about 15 minutes of frustration and the growing desire not to get yelled at by the Drill I went and yelled at the squad leader and let her know what was what. After that they showed us what to do and nobody ever really messed with me after that so that worked out.
After they issued us our masks we trained all week on how to don and clear them. I knew that the gas chamber was coming up so I was super paranoid that I wouldn't do mine right and was hellishly afraid of breathing that gas. Finally the day came for us to go into the chamber. I tested and retested the seal on my mask about 20 times while we were all waiting in line to go in. I was towards the front of the line and part of the first group to go in. As they let us in I ended up being the first person in the second row and was about 3 feet from the door. The place was so filled with gas it was crazy. You could hardly even see. I saw the Senior Field Leader in there and he was in MOPP gear and screaming from the second we entered. The other Drill in there with him was Drill Sargent Smalls, the meanest Drill in the company. The second we entered the building all the people who were not paranoid and failed to check their masks a thousand times began coughing and gagging even with their masks on it was an instant Drill magnet which turned out to be good for me. After we were in there for a couple of minutes they made us take our helmets off and put them between our legs, which is what you are supposed to do when there is a gas attack and you have to put your mask on so that it doesn't touch the ground and get contaminated. We did this so that we could take our masks off and put them back on and clear the gas out. The second the masks came off all I hear are steel pots hitting the floor and more coughing and then more Drill screaming. Meanwhile, I'm still good!! Next thing I know they are yelling to take them off and leave them off so I did the worst possible thing you could do, I took a deep breath and took off my mask and then tried to hold it as long as I could. I was getting away with it too because of all the other mayhem in the room with everybody else gasping and choking and all the screaming and what not. The Senior Field saw me and ran over to me and even though I wasn't coughing because I still wasn't breathing, I played it up the best I could and since my eyes were stinging like crazy he saw my tears and told me to head for the door and I was suddenly the first one out. I ran over to the door and Drill Sgt Smalls screamed "What are you doing here?" and I said "The Senior Field Leader told me to leave Drill Sgt!" with all the air left in my lungs and with that, much to my surprise, Drill Sgt Smalls flung the door open and told me to go. A few more people came out right after me, but those where were in the 7th layer of hell got to stay in the longest of all. I totally lucked out and I knew it!

Since Pass In Review was at the end of the week the other main thing we did was march, march, march. I'm sure it was just their way of training us up to march as a unit as soon as possible but the thing they used to scare us with was the fact that we would be doing it at the Headquarters building in front of the Commanding General. Mostly we learned how to march, properly do eyes right and so forth. I remember when we marched over, the whole thing happened pretty quickly. I don't remember seeing the General at all but there was a fair amount of officer types standing there saluting back as we passed. The whole thing was over in like 5 minutes. I remember thinking that this is just something they do every Friday and not really the huge deal they had been making it out to be. It was the day I learned how to read when things were going to be crazy crucial or if they were going to be just part of the way things were done. Figuring out how things went like that helped me alot in basic. I figured out right away that if we had an extra 15 or 20 minutes to kill before a class or chow that the best way that could fill that gap was to drop dimes on us. If it were going to be 30 or 40 minutes they would just have us study our smart books or polish boots or something but anything shorter and they just decided to fill that time punishing us with some impromptu PT for something they thought up that we had done wrong. It didn't take me to long to pick up on that and that as soon as it was time to head out to chow or class it would all come to a sudden halt and off we would go. Learning that really helped me make it though sessions where they smoked us out. I just told myself, this will be ending in about 10 mins or so because we got chow, so I can hang for 10 more minutes, and I did. That mind set helped me through all the really tough times in basic.

My platoon at basic

The start of BCT

After the cattle car pulled up to the curb beside what we would soon discover would be our new home for the remainder of our time at Ft. Jackson, Drill Sgt. Cunningham told us that when the doors opened we were going to get out of the cattle car as fast as we could, line our duffel bags up in a row along the curb and run as fast as we could down the hill to the company area and form a line side by side and get at attention. Shortly after the doors opened, we jumped up and hopped out onto the ground. I put my bag beside those that were already there and took off as fast as I could down the hill towards a brick and concrete building that had a concrete area at the bottom that didn't look too different than what a parking garage does. We all then got in line side by side and discovered more Drill Sergeants waiting for us in what we later learned was the company formation area. Big chunks of this are a blur to me because it involved a great deal of running and screaming but what I do remember is after we got to the bottom we were yelled at to run back up the hill and grab the bags, to not waste time looking for our own, just grab them and get them down to the formation area and put them in a row side by side just like they were at the top of the hill and not to worry about where we put it, just put them side by side and to get back to the position of attention behind the bag we brought down. I figured out real quick that they were doing this so we would be sure and NOT know which ones where ours. One second later we were told to move and we all ran back up the hill. I remember grabbing the first bag I got to and running back down the hill as fast as I could.

I remember we were still wearing tennis shoes with our BDU's because we had not broken our boots in yet and one girl ran out of her shoe and just left it behind. This allowed all the Drill Sgts that were in the formation area the opportunity to freak out over it and her. It was at this time that I became aware that there were quite a few female Pvt's standing on the stairs leading up to the 2nd and 3rd floors that were all laughing at us. I had forgotten all about this until I started telling my tale so thanks for reminding me. These would turn out to the recruits that had gotten there before us and had been waiting around for about a week for the rest of the cycle to arrive.

We were then instructed to run back up the hill and grab our personal bags that we had also left beside the curb and after grabbing them we were to run down the hill and grab our duffel bags, which were now all mixed up so that it would be as much fun for those observing our crazy newbie freak out, and to then get into formation in front of one of the four Drill Sgts that were standing in the formation area. Someone barked out the command for us to move out and up the hill we went yet again, but this this time I saw my bag from home right away because it was blue with red straps, snapped it up and headed back down the hill to get my duffel bag. I didn't have too hard of a time finding it because unlike most, I had brought my pad locks from home and they were different looking than all the ones that were identical that everybody had bought at the PX only a couple of days prior. I spotted my lock right away and grabbed my bag.
The next thing I became aware of was that all the girls that had been laughing at us on the stars were now standing i formation in front of all the Drill Sergeants the Drills were all screaming at once for us to fall in to formation with them. As I was grabbing my bag and rushing around the end and out of the jumble of people trying desperately to find their bags in all of that mess I saw Drill Sgt Terry yelling that there was an empty spot in front of him and I ran and jumped in it. I would later discover that this was the extremely complex system that the US Army used to determine exactly which platoon you would be in once you arrived at basic training. I was lucky enough to land in 4th Platoon with Drill Sergent Terry. I say lucky because that is all that it was. This platoon and myself included would go on to be the best in Delta Company. We would win the most awards and accolades of the cycle, and that is how I became a Blacksheep.

I'm the one in the middle.

You are in the Army now

When the bus pulled up to the receiving battalion, somebody got on and told us to get off, single file and go through the doors and down the hall. They led us into an auditorium with a stage, a podium with the Army seal and some flags. They told us to go inside, go all the way down to the front and fill up the rows leaving no empty seats but to remain standing. We were all walking as fast as we could and nobody said a word. They were not yelling at this point but we were all still kind of scared. After everybody came in and was standing in front of their seats a Sergeant walked up to the podium and told to "Take seats!" at which point everybody sat down. He immediately yelled at us to all stand back up, which we did as fast as we could. He then yelled "Take Seats!" again, and everybody did at which point he yelled some more and told us to get back up again. He then said that when he gave the command for us to take seats he wanted everybody to sit down all at the same time, in unison and not to sound like a bunch of dominoes falling down. Ohhhh, we get it now.... "Take Seats!" We all sat down as one.
He then welcomed us to the Army and to the reception battalion. He explained that we would be there for several days and would be in processing, getting shots, getting our uniforms etc. After this yelled on your feet and we all stood up as one. You learn quick. They led us out of the auditorium and down a hall to a room that had another small room with two doors on either side. They made us dump out our bags and went through everything and proceeded to tell us everything we would not be allowed to have. It ran the gamut from porn to weapons, to booze, smokes or even Tylenol. The little room turned out to be the amnesty room, it contained a trash can and we all went in single file and if we had anything that was not allowed, if we put it in the trash can we would not get in trouble, if we were found with it later we would get in serious trouble. I waited my turn, went in, closed the door, looked at the trash can and wondered if anybody had put anything in there, then walked out the other side.
After that they led us to the barracks and told us to get a bed and put our stuff in a wall locker, which we did. It was pretty close to midnight now and they finally led us to chow. I don't remember what I ate, it was probably a veal patty since the Army is in love with them, but I remember it being good what ever it was. We sat there and ate, very quickly and quietly.
Next we went back to the barracks and they told us to make our beds, but didn't show us how, not the military way, then shower and go to bed, lights out would be in an hour.
I had always been very shy about allowing anybody to see me naked. I remember when I was a kid I went swimming with my aunt at the lake and they had bath houses and everybody just took their clothes off and put on their suits, I was mortified. I didn't let my mom see me naked after puberty hit. I just didn't do it. I suddenly realized that I had never given any thought to having to dress and undress in front of other people. I told myself that it would be like when you go camping so I went to go look at the shower stalls. HA! It was a huge shower with tile walls and floor and 3 rows of shower heads sticking out of the wall, my heart sank. Everybody was just standing in there naked showering and not seeming to care that everybody else was butt naked. I went back to my locker and proceeded to fart around for about 30 minutes, digging in my bags getting my shower stuff and trying to work out what I was going to do.
By the time I made it back to the shower almost everybody was out and there were only two people left showering so I fumbled around in my shower kit getting my soap and shampoo out until the coast was clear and I was alone. I quickly undressed and got under the first shower as quick as I could hopping that nobody else came. They didn't, I was the very last one. I got under the water, picked up my bar of soap, ran it down my right arm, and immediately dropped it and it went directly down the drain, which had it's brass cover removed, like you always do with anything that needs to be shined daily when you are in the Army, you put it back during they day and take them all out when you are going to use them. I later learned that this also happens with shower curtains and anything that that has to be cleaned. So I washed with my shampoo, it was a bottle of Silkience as I recall, my bar of soap that I brought was Coast and I never got to use it. I remember spending time deciding what shampoo and soap I wanted to get for when I left. It seemed important to me at the time that I get the exact right ones. I remember later I switched to Prell shampoo in the tube because I remembered that my dad always had that in his shave kit when he was in the Air Force. They stopped putting it in tubes so I don't use it anymore, but if they did I would. I'm that sad.
I finished my shower as fast as I could, I'm pretty sure it was under 2 minutes, and by the time I got back everyone was already in bed. The Drill Sergeant came told us it was lights out and to get some sleep, in a very stern manner, because we were getting up at 0500. It was about 2:30am,5 minutes later, or so it felt, the lights came back on and a different Drill Sergeant was screaming at us to get up, get dressed and get outside in the ASAP.
The first thing they did was teach us to march, kind of, it was enough to get us from point A to point B as a group, the second thing they did was take us to get paid and to the PX to buy the stuff we needed that we didn't bring. I remember buying a brand new pair of tennis shoes. I had brought everything on the list with me even my shoes so there was not much I needed to buy. Shoe polish, some extra brown towels and bath cloths and a brand new pair of Nikes. It was the first pair I ever owned. I saw them there on the rack and everybody seemed to be buying tennis shoes. I had brought my old pair because I thought they were fine, but damn, NIKE tennis shoes and me with a wad of cash in my hand. They only had two styles to choose from. I got the tan. To this day I only buy Nike tennis shoes. Yeah, its like that, and that's the way it is.
Things I remember about receiving...

Being told to guard our money, people would steal it. The next day I remember a girl sitting on some bleachers crying because her money had been stolen.
Getting shots, with a gun and somebody passing out.
Waiting in line, as close as we could stand to the person in front of us, at parade rest, with our right foot against the wall. This would be the way that was done for the entire time we were in basic.
Filling out my financial paperwork and who would get what if I got deployed and died.
Filling out my SGLI insurance $50,000.
Going down the line with my duffle bag open having my gear issued to me with them tossing it in the bag one item at a time. My uniform size was small/extra short.
Trying on my boots.
Sitting on those benches and waiting to get my picture taken in that fake class A uniform and old style beret that females wore back then. I remember the Drill Sergent leading us around that day said we were getting pictures taken if we wanted to put on make up go in the latrine and do it now. 1 minute later he yelled for them to all get back out they were done with make up. I had stayed in my seat and thought that humorous.
The day the REAL Drill Sergeants showed up, dressed in class A uniforms, with two cattle cars pulled by diesel trucks, all full of hell and fire, to take us to basic training. They had sent Drill Sergeant Cunningham and Drill Sergeant Smalls, by far, we would learn, the meanest looking and and acting Drill Sergeants there. They had us all stand in a line with our duffle bags at our feet. They said to pull out our dog tags and our ID and they came down the line and checked our names and Cunningham pause when he got to me and said "Don't be scared private, you don't have anything to be scared about, yet." I thought to myself, but I'm not scared, did he think I was shaking or something? I just stood there and he quickly moved along. They then screamed at us that on their command we would pick up our bags and get in the cattle cars as quickly as we could, which we did. The doors closed and the truck began to pull away.

The cattle car had two rows of benches all the way around and tiny rectangular windows all they way up at the top where you couldn't see out of them. Drill Sergeant Cunningham got on and stood right in front of me and screamed for nobody say anything and not to look at him that he better not catch anybody looking at him so we spent the rest of the trip, not knowing where we were going and staring blankly off in different directions so that we didn't accidentally look at Drill Sergeant Cunningham.

Victory Starts Here

After I took my oath and signed my papers I had to wait 4 months before I could leave for basic training. I continued with my diet and exercise regime because I wanted to be ready when I got there. When I left the MEPS the second time it was to the Nashville airport to catch a flight to Fort Jackson, SC. There were two of us going there and because I joined as a PFC (Private First Class) because of my college, I was made the group leader and they gave me all the documents to look after and told me I was in charge. We waited at the airport and caught our flight for basic. We landed in Atlanta first and planned to eat there as they gave us meal vouchers that we could spend at places to eat at the airport. When we landed in the ATL we discovered we only had 45 minutes to make our connecting flight and it was on a different concourse so we ran to the tram and just barely made it in time to board the plane so we decided we would have to wait until we landed in Columbia to eat. We got there at about 4:30pm. As we made out way through this very small airport we discovered that the place to eat had already closed for the night. So great, no food. I had been long enough without food already. As we made our way down the concourse we saw a bunch of people sitting quietly in chairs waiting. On one end was an Army Sgt. in his Class A uniform so we walked over to him. He looked at me and said "Who is your group leader?" I looked back and said "I am." to which he said, "I am what?" and I replied "The group leader?" He looked me dead in the eye and yelled "I am the group leader Sergeant!" And so it had begun. I repeated it back and then he told us to go sit down and not to talk and not to get up. He told us once an hour he would tell us we could use the latrine or the phone but until he said so to sit quietly. I told him that we never got to use our food vouchers and he told me not to worry they would feed us when we got there. We sat down and proceeded to wait until every other flight had arrived and at 9:30pm we boarded the bus for basic. As we drove away from the airport the bus driver, who was a civilian, "If you have them you better smoke them because they are going to take them away and you won't get them back." At that point almost everybody on the bus pulled out their smokes and started puffing away. People who didn't have any asked for one and people with brand new packs offered them out. I didn't take one and I didn't smoke. I remember it took about 15 or 20 smokey minutes to make to the post and I can still see the front gate in the darkness as we drove through. My adventure had begun!
I still have those food vouchers in my briefcase, I don't guess I could still use them at the airport yeah?

Brain Games

When that day finally came for me to head off to the MEPS for my physical I was scared shit less. Not afraid to join, but afraid something would happen that would keep me from joining. I had put so much time and effort and energy and sweat into this one moment and I was desperately afraid something would happen, or they would find something that was gonna fuck it all up for me.

It was about a 3 hour bus ride from Florence, Al to Nashville, TN where the MEPS station was located. The MEPS (Military Enlistment Processing Station or something close to that) is used by all branches of the military. They put you up in a hotel and then you all ride over to the MEPS and get your physicals, pick out your jobs, sign on the dotted line and get sworn in. When we arrived at the hotel, we all had room mates. Most of the folks there, all at least 10 years my younger since I was 26 at the time, thought it was an awesome time to have a drunken party. I having been off at college for the last 2 years thought it was time to just wait it out till 5 am and try not to gain any weight before I got on the scale. My roomie, a girl who's name escapes me also stayed in the room, we talked a little, about what I can't remember, watched some tv and then turned in for the night.

I got up the next morning and headed to the Shoney's next door where breakfast was being provided. I was STARVING but only ate a banana cause I didn't know what the scale would say. When we got to the MEPS we did some paperwork and then were called up in groups to do the see the doctors. We got blood drawn, got our hoots examined, got mostly naked and walked like a duck. We got xrays answered alot of questions and got on the scale.....133.5 lbs . The most I could weigh was 135 pounds, woot I made it! I couldn't believe it, I passed! Then the real worry kicked in that now that I had finally made the weight cut that something else would pop up to ruin it for me. They took our blood pressure and checked our heart rates. I was so anxious that my was through the roof. My pulse was a shocking 135 bpm! I told the doctor that I was very anxious and he sent me out to the waiting area to chill out for a half hour. I sat out there and tried to calm myself down. I had my heart rate back down to the 80's even though at home it was in the 60's when they came to get me to recheck it. The second time it was 145, I was freaking out. I told the Doctor "I swear this is just me being anxious, at home it's in the 60's!"
He said this is what we are going to do, I'm going to send you home for 30 days and bring you back and check it again. He asked me if I smoked, I said that I did. He told me to stop smoking and to cut out all caffeine. Are you kidding me, I was living off of coffee and cigarettes!! I told him I would and went home feeling scared and like I had shot myself in the foot for no good reason and was in danger of scaring myself out of my dream.

30 days later I was back in Nashville and ready to take the entire physical over again. I was very nervous and starving. Much to my surprise, when I told them why I was there and what had happened, the ONLY thing they did was take me back to get my pulse checked. Once again, my anxiety rose with fear the same thing would happen to me again and I would blow it for myself. When he checked it, my bpm was 99, the Doctor said that it had to be under 100, so I made it, just barely, but I had made it, I was ecstatic.

I went on to talk about a job. I had decided on some sort of radio operator because it sounded cool and I wouldn't be stuck at a desk all day. I watched a little video and picked 31C (Single Channel Radio Operator) and signed the contract. I would be leaving for basic in April (the earliest available date). Then we were all gathered up and taken into a big room with a podium and some flags and a Major had us all raise our right hands and take the oath.

I had made it happen.

At lunch time they brought out box lunches, it was a really sad looking cheese burger and some chips, it was delicious.